I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
