she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
