That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
