At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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