Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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