I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
