Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize