So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
