Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Randomize