All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The police scanner is talking about you again....
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize