I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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