He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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