Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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