I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
