he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
