I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
