You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
