Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
