I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Randomize
