it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
