so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
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