hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
