This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
