I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize