plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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