I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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