I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
