My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
