Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
