Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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