Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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