ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
