you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
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He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize