i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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