She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Randomize
