Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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