so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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