So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
