I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize