And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
