I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize