Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
