I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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