yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
