she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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