I got chris browned last night
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
