I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
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So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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