We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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