i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
