More tranny stories later!
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
