Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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