I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
