I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize