Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
