i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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