would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
