Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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