i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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