p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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