first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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