Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
