We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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