R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
