It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
