ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
